What NOT to do When Beautifying for Your Better Half
am the luckiest beauty junkie in existence: not only does my fiancé let me do my beauty thing, he lovingly tells me I’m beautiful even if he doesn’t love my shade of lipstick, keeps his mouth shut even when his eyebrows are raised, and on occasion I can even count on him to assist with the delicate art of self tanning in hard-to-reach places. (If that’s not a demonstration of true love, I don’t know what is.Merci, cher!)
Although my darling partner is an adoring one, there are still plenty of trends out there, even beyond the realm of my vanity, he and many other men hate or are straight up baffled by. Here’s the top trends to avoid if you’re strictly looking to please the opposite sex, or throw caution to the wind and do what you love (the Man Repeller has made an incredibly successful career doing the latter!).
What originally started as a natural way to mimic what the sun does to California surfer girls’ hair, ombré has become an extreme, dip-dyed, colour-block hair trend that men look at and scratch their (uniformly coloured hair) heads. To them, it looks like you’ve neglected your roots since 2010. If you must, ladies, just make sure the fade is gradual and stays within a range of two shades, max.
The ever-opinionated Kanye West took to Twitter this past fall to express his distaste for dark lipstick, tweeting: ”Please don’t let girls start wearing dark lipstick again. I just think girls need to know that guys don’t really like black lipstick.” Regardless of your stance when it comes to West’s ultra strong-minded judgements, most men agree: while we see deep plums and burgundies as sexy and vampy, men just can’t get past the gothic connotation.
Pixie cuts can be edgy and really quite chic (see: Jennifer Lawrence, Queen Bey, and a whole whack of other celebrities). Despite the charm of short hair (and the appeal of styling it!) it’s not a look favoured by men. Emma Watson, who looked absolutely alluring with her short ‘do, gave it to us straight: ”Of course, men like long hair. There’s no two ways about it. The majority of the boys around me were like, ‘Why did you do that? That’s such an error.’” And on that note…
Men also hate hair extensions. I can vouch for this myself: it’s a really unattractive surprise when your guy tries to lovingly run his hands through your long and luscious locks, only to get tricked into a tangle of clips, bonds or glue. Even worse? When they start to drop off randomly and always at the most inappropriate and humiliating time, like at the dinner table of a swanky restaurant or on your pillowcase when he wakes up before you. Not cute.
“Ugh! Pom Pom!” Are the resounding words my fiancé will forever holler every time I kiss him goodnight with my beloved Australian Paw Paw Salve slathered on my lips. While we may love the slick look of a gloss or even a balm, men hate the way it feels and can even be turned off by the extreme finish of super shiny glosses.
The classic cat-eye liner is a serious no-no for most men. They don’t dig the dramatic effect and are perplexed as to why women would draw a big black swoop so far out onto their faces. Don’t bother trying to explain that Sophia Loren, who oozed sex appeal with her sultry signature cat-eye liner, set the bar; most men just don’t care to see it.
Supermodel Cara Delevigne‘s most distinctive feature are her eyebrows, and it works for her. Us mere mortals, not so much – at least from men’s perspectives, anyway. Bold brows have been trending since their runway debut a few years back and have picked up speed since. Thick, bushy eyebrows may be fashion-forward and a dramatic way to frame your face, but men see them as unfeminine and a little scary.
It’s no secret the nail art trend has gained popularity with astonishing gusto and achieved an astronomical number of bedazzlers, pattern-makers, texturizers and beyond. The thing is, men just can’t wrap their heads around why you’d ever need a velvet manicure or how you’d ever spend hours detailing an intricate pattern by choice. Men think they look too kooky or bizarre and just don’t see the appeal of having your nails painstakingly painted to look like they’re covered in lace.
An Overly Spray Tanned Complexion
A natural, non-obvious spray tan can be a glorious thing in the frigid, dark months that derisively zap you of any luster or glow. Unfortunately, there is a dangerously fine line when it comes to fake tanning products; you can go from subtly tinted to Snooki (who made her own tan in a can!) far too quickly and look really unnatural. Although many women enjoy a wallop of colour, men really do not. Orange palms are also one of men’s most hated looks, so make sure if you do decide to dip into a faux tan, you use a mitt!